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The Ego Games
Thursday, December 25, 2014 * : An' wot did you get? * : I got— * : My very own emergency button! See? Press it! * : Okay … [a very loud alarm sounds] What the Trondheim was that? * : Sorry, I'll use that for real emergencies. Like pranks. And stuff that might never happen. * : [off-screen] Oh, G-d, I never knew she'd use that for— * : So, wot did you get, Saye? * : I got— * : OMNL, check out this clarinet! * : —thet I totally din't use from 'igh school… * : I've never played an instrument before, and I still might win orchestra auditions! [he plays a note severely off-tune] * : Can you put that sonic weapon away, Squidward? I think you've broken the empty vials to my AP-official scientist-approved organic chemistry set! * : And the mirror to my make-up set! * : She's ten years old, Pencil, why would she need a— * : It promotes individuality by 'avin'e conform to societal norms, m8. So, me flesh an' blood, wot did you get? * : A— * : A truck! * : A duck! * : Ga! Ga!This is the sound that ducks make in Japanese. * : I got a daily journal of all of the random acts of kindness I can do in an hour! * : Do you ever stop? * : [sigh] Wot— * : If there isn't a better football simulation game, it's this! Huu''ha!'' * : Yaaaas! * : Why did I'' choose all th' Hanuchristmas gifts? * : For one thing— * : K, so what ''I got was the greatest, the best, and the most a''maaaaaaz''— [Cil cries, and alphabet blocks fall on Pencil Jr., spelling "in your face".] * : So how's everyone loving their gifts so far? * : [half-heartedly] We … love them! * : [petting her duck] Couldn't ask for anything better, like a— * : Thing! * : Y'don' like 'em, innit? * : Not at all. * : We could have got better things! * : Ye in [to Pen] Wot shall I do? Wait, I'll jus' give 'em the selfishness talk. * : I'll be right back. [He goes to the secondary cabin.] * : I'm betting my duck that he won't come back. * : Thet son of a corpse! * : [in the other room] Heard that! * : Good! * : Mum, why're you so mad at us? * : Listen, I ain' mad at'ee. I'm mad at Pen imself'' fer raisin'ee thet way. * : What do you mean? * : When I was around yer age, we were jus' a middle-income family in the suburbs o' Nairobi. Then, when I was seven, me dad lef' fer the war, an' … an' * : Yes? * : … 'e took all of our money with 'im, an' thet money was never seen again! * : We'll never see grandpa the same way anymore. * : 'Iwa'n't 'is fault! 'E was forced to abandon it acos'o possible mutiny. Meanwhils', in Kenya, we were really poor. * : But I thought in high school you were middle class again! * : I know, but me mum built up all on 'er life jus' ter 'ave money again. Livin' a life of poverty'll be somethin'ee'll ne'er experience. * : What was it like? * : We 'ad to save up on food, couldn' shop a' certaim places acos 'ey'd ne'er let us. We were forced to stay in our 'ouses an' me mum could only afford jus' one football fer Needle an' I. An' while me other friends were out on dates in fancy restaurants an' usin' computers (this was 2002, mind'ee), I was stuck in the gutter 'avin' to do work a' the factory part time from school. Little known fact, our country used ter 'ave factories.Cultural diffusion from the early 1900s to the early 2000s. Meanwhile, all ye lot now live in a palace in one o' the riches' areas in the country. You actually can afford pretty much anythin' jus' from yer bank account. Yer probably known as the rich kids a' school, jus' like yer father … * : Oh, Sachairi, what should I do? I've probably destroyed the lives of my children and the love of my life. * : TimeFace-ing Eraser. * : No, that's not what I meant! * : Trust me, this will work. * : Okay … [Eraser is on.] * : Hey, Pen, what's up? * : Hi, Eraser. * : How's Japan? * : Well, in the perspective of the national language, it's sugoi! * : Did you forget we're Jewish, man?It sounds like Pen was calling Eraser "a goy" – someone who is not Jewish. * : Eraser, I've got a problem. * : Talk to me! * : My wife just told the kids they're being selfish. * : What did they do? * : We gave them their Hanuchristmas gifts, and pretty much all of them hated them. * : They were chosen by Pencil. * : Well that wasn't nice. But really, what should I do? * : You need to assert your selfishness and show that you don't care a word about what she thinks! Just don't do anything stupid like hold a war to see which idiotology is better * : Hey bae, who are you talking to? [sees Pen] Omg, a gorgon. [She punches the screen.] * : Well! * : Sorry, we'll just go buy five new extras. [He hangs up.] * : He hung up without saying good-bye! What kind of Canadian is he? * : There are, like, starvin' children in Americker 'o probably need 'ose gifts more than'ee do. So please, don' be like yer father. I want yer lives to be filled with benevolence, an' thet can't 'appen with an arrogant, egotistical jock utensil in yer way. * : Wow! I never knew that much about your life. * : I would like to guess that we should donate our gifts. * : It would be for the greater good. * : What? But I still want mine! * : Yeah, and these gifts are way out of my type. * : Bein' hones', 'tis out o' me care wote'er path y'choose in life. All yer choice. Jus' remember to choose the way thet yer 'eart itself wants to follow. Don' let yerself down. * : Bye! [She leaves the room.] * : That was probably the most inspiringational talk I've ever doneYou know who said those last three words. heard. * : All I heard was the sound of the wind flowing through my eraser. * : Yeah, come on! She is out of her mind! * : Who cares if there's poor people in developeding countries like America or Switzerland? We're not poor so it doesn't matter anyway! * : Come on, Chavo, she wants us to think of others. And you I'm surprised. Your name, Salvador, refers to Yesu Kristo, y'know. * : We're also Jewish. [Just then, a figure appears in the doorway, revealed to be Pen.] * : So, your mother's been telling you guys I've been selfish. * : Pretty much! * : She called you out on everything, too! * : She used words we're not supposed to use on you! * : Like cocky. * : And arrogant! * : And my favourite, jack-o-tensil! [some of the kids laugh, whilst the others stare at them in disbelief] * : Guys, this is serious. I really think that some of us [coughs] Dad, do have a selfishness and inflatable ego problem. * : That's true! When we were on the Nairobi Strip, you saw a crowd of homeless people and told people not to give them money. * : But he did teach me that going with a mirror is the best way to go! [Pencil returns back to the room.] * : I'm back from washin' all o' your ink/lead-stained wear, a job thet you could'a done yerselves. * : Sorry, mum. * : It was totally our fault for being irresponsible. * : Soʁʁy! * : Goo! * : If we could do anything in return * : It would be nothing at all! Mum, I can't believe you had your old provincial hands on our clothes that we only wear for decoration anyways. * : Zorah, I can't believe this mutiny! I ain' provincial! City-wise, maybe, but Wait a second. Why all of a sudden're'ee so patronisin'? Is'ee because 'e's 'ere? * : If this were one of Mum's soap operas, it'd be rated 1 star. * : No, I walk in and they get the attitude that it's great to be well-off and self-loving. * : This man's self-lovin's rubbed on ter'ee all! * : I swear, I'll be allegiant to you, mummy! * : Her and your own flesh and blood! * : Then if Yeris and Saye are taking sides, I'm going with my flesh and blood. * : Yeah, we're together in this! * : Can I join you guys too? Nice people creep me out. * : Agreed. [he kicks the wall] '''OW! * : I guess it'd be okay to join people who are very socially into it. * : Why aʁe we making teams now? Do mummy and daddy declaʁe waʁ? * : Goo! * : So if Rassie's saysin' thet it's a war we're 'avin', then the good people declare war on your people. * : And if it's war you want ... it's war you'll get.''They don't really hate each other, they just act out the stuff. ♫ Shi-kkŭ-rŏ dŭl-gi-jo-cha shir-hŏ nun-mu-ri ma-rŭ-do-rok bi-rŏ Kkŭt-k'a-ji gal-ge du-go-bwa nŏn nal chal mot gŏn-dŭ-ryŏ-ssŏ Sa-rang-haet-dŏn u-ri-de gŭ-nyŏ-bbu-nin na-in-de Wae nŏn wae nŏn nae yŏ-jal gŏn-dŭ-ryŏ, No way T'uk-t'uk t'ŏl-to nan i-rŏ-na dang-han-man-tŭm nŏ du-go-bwa Sa-rang gat-ko u-jŏng gat-ko jang-nan-ch'i-nŭn nŏ du-go-bwa Ni saeng-gang-man-hae-do bŏl-ssŏ nae mo-mi ttŏl-lyŏ-wa nŏr yong-sŏ-mo-t'ae i-je-bu-tŏ nŏn Chŏn-chaeng-i-ya gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nŏ du-go bwa bwa nŏ gŭ-nyŏ-ga tto ul-châ-na Gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nae sa-rang gŏn-dŭ-rin nŏ nŏ nŏ nŏ jŏn-chaeng-i-ya Kŭ-nyŏ-ga ttŏ-na-dŏn nal lŏn mo-rŭl-ch'ŏng mo-du i-chŭ-ra mar-hae-ssŏ Mi-jŏt-tŏn ni-ga chin-gu-in ni-ga nae-ge i-rŏl su i-ssŏ nŏl chŏ-ju-ha-ge-ssŏ i-je Kŭ dŏ-rŏ-un ip che-bal da-mul-lae i pi-nun-mul da dol-lyŏ-jul-ge Ttok-t'o-k'i gwi-e sae-gyŏ nŏ-rŭl chŏl-dae ga-man an-dwo Ŏn-chen-ga al-ge döl-gŏ-ra saeng-ga-gŭn haet-ket-chi Nŏr yong-sŏ-mo-t'ae i-je bu-tŏ nŏn Chŏn-chaeng-i-ya gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nŏ du-go bwa bwa nŏ gŭ-nyŏ-ga tto ul-châ-na Gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nae sa-rang gŏn-dŭ-rin nŏ nŏ nŏ nŏ jŏn-chaeng-i-ya (Don't you cry cry cry) Nŏ-ttae-me tto ul-cha-na (Kŭ-nyŏ-ga bye bye bye bye bye) Mo-dŭn-ge kkŭ-chi-ja-na (Don't you cry cry cry) Nae sa-rang gan-dŭ-rin nŏ nŏ nŏ nŏ jŏn-chaeng-i-ya Chŏn-chaeng-i-ya gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nŏ du-go bwa bwa nŏ gŭ-nyŏ-ga tto ul-châ-na Gŏp-chaeng-i-ya nae sa-rang gŏn-dŭ-rin nŏ nŏ nŏ nŏ jŏn-chaeng-i-ya (Don't you cry cry cry) Nŏ-ttae-me tto ul-cha-na (Kŭ-nyŏ-ga bye bye bye bye bye) Mo-dŭn-ge kkŭ-chi-ja-na (Don't you cry cry cry) Nae sa-rang gan-dŭ-rin nŏ nŏ nŏ nŏ jŏn-chaeng-i-ya ♫ * Huh? DJ! TURN THIS OFF! *'DJ:'''Does so and winces. Category:Episodes Category:New episodes Category:Unfinished episodes